I don't want this blog to become a front in some cold war of the sexes, but apparently, what I want won't matter if I keep writing about the things that piss me off.

Today: THE PORTRAYAL OF MEN IN ADVERTS.

I noticed the post-Homer Simson archetypal "idiot dad" in some advert ages ago and didn't think much of it. Fair enough, it worked to comic effect in whatever ad it was, and some people are a bit daft. The teasing was gentle.

Since then I've noticed the "idiot dad" croping up more and more and more. The following products have adverts involving moronic men who have to be bailed out/ruthlessly patronised by a partner or child:

Glade air fresheners
Oven Pride
HM Gov's "Act on CO2" campaign

I don't really care that men are potrayed as over-confident, ignorant, blustering fools by these campaigns - they're only adverts. What pisses me off is the feeling that the whole thing would not fly if women were stereotyped equally negatively, equally often. They'd be off the air quite fast, I think. [I've just found out that the Oven Pride ad has had a number of complaints]
It's just equality I'm after - either we all take the piss out of each other, or we take the piss out of no-one. I'm fine with the first one.

The irony of the "idiot dad" adverts is in the outmoded attitude present in every single one - that a woman's role is as a home-maker.

Alcohol and me

This is just a blog to fill in while I research another rant. Said research mostly involves watching television, so the whole process is pretty easy..

I'm not about to tell you all I'm an alcoholic, it's not like that! I've decided to do some runs - a 10k in April and the Cardiff Half Marathon in October (schedule allowing). This means training and preparation, so for the month leading up to the 10k I've all but forsworn alcohol. I've done this before, during the month before the Bath Half Marathon, and it definitely helped!

It's pretty weird when you're used to drinking something every day to suddenly stop! A good way to start stopping is to give yourself a hangover and put yourself off drinking for a day or two. Probably not recommended by a Doctor, but almost nothing fun is. Mostly, the habit is the thing to overcome. I haven't been out on the razz since I started, so it's been quite easy not to feel too weird without a bevvy.

I've noticed I've got more drive to do things in the evening, rather than just watching telly or a film. I've yet to act on this, to my shame. I've found mornings less difficult too, which is pretty good for me! If you have a long, stressful or tiring day, it is difficult to know what to replace booze with..anyone else de-boozed before?

Yummy mummy

It means MILF! Call a spade a spade, ladies. I don't know why this does my head in so much, but it really does!

Maybe it's for this reason: there's something contradictory about wanting to be fuckable, yet feeling the need to disguise it with hideous, twee euphemisms. It's a turn-off..I'm going to get a lynching for this, aren't I? "Why do you resent women for wanting to keep their figure after giving birth?" and all that. I'll be disappointed if I don't get a bollocking from someone for this, to be honest!

Bye bye.

The manifesto/this year

Part the first:

I have founded this blog as a replacement for my badly neglected livejournal blog. A secondary motive for the change is to put some distance between myself and a username chosen in my early teens, which has somehow stalked me all the way into early adulthood..

The Manifesto, my vision for this blog, tantalisingly promised by the title - doesn't exist. I've tried that before and I just end up failing hopelessly, so I'm just going to write whatever I want to write, exactly whenever I feel like it! If you think that shows a lack of discipline, then: a) you are correct, and b) go away.

Part the second:

This year! It's been fun. The nearest thing I had to a new year's resolution was (is! I'm keeping it up) to try something new every month. For Christmas, I got a trumpet from recession-busting European supermarket, Lidl. True story! Cheap, German-made brass instruments make excellent gifts. I spent January making farty sounds and finding out why the spit valve is called the spit valve. I can now eke out the Family Guy theme tune (to my own amusement and absolutely no-one else's!). It's fun to make loud noises.

In February, I had a go at oil painting. I got into a lovely calm state when I was actually painting, it's a relaxing and focussing process. I 'm pretty shit at art, though. I tried to paint Peter Griffin (can you see a pattern emerging?), and his face is a mess. I just slapped on more paint to cover my mistakes, so he's bulgey and misshappen, like a freakish cartoon elephant man.

March: I've been learning Esperanto. I said I would do this years ago, so I'm making good on that. I'm not doing it so much for practical reasons, but because I think it's a good idea, and fuck it! Why not? Having said that, after completing an email course and reading a few extra bits over the month, I've had comprehensible conversations with a Pole, a Spaniard, a Brazialian and a Frenchwoman, all in Esperanto. Mostly, I've learned that stamp collecting is still in in Europe, and that Brazil is hot.

I might try boxing in April.

Bye.